Are You Searching …

Are You Searching …

The more we know, the better our understanding of the world. – Steven R. Covey

How to get peace

From my point of view there are many different possibilities to achieve and receive peace. I suggest to focus on two important and interdependent roles. First, your own role as an individual and second, as a member of a group.

Decide that you want peace. Then start planning.

As an Individual

Rumi writes, the inspiration is already within us. Be silent and listen. Gain clarity of your own role. What are your perceptions, your concepts or thought patterns, your theories of conflict, peace and life. What are your standards? How do you solve difficulties and conflicts? What are your roles? What are your goals?

Figure out your own purpose – what is your why? What is your life’s mission? Be clear about your roles. Be honest to yourself. Then create your own road map. How do you want to go about? What places do you want to see? Who do you want to meet? Specify the steps you need to take. Yes, be specific.

Tony Robbins stresses, that the only way to get better is to raise your standards. What are your standards? Which one’s can you raise, keeping in mind that you want to receive peace? Think of win-win-situations where you and the people with whom you interact improve to gain peace.

Create your own understandable, precise road map.

Start moving. Keep on moving. Importantly, follow your plan.

As a Member of a Group

You found like-minded people? You are part of a group? Do you know each other? Don’t wait for years to pass to answer the following questions. Figure them out soon and use the knowledge.

What are your views on the world? What are your pet peeves? What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses? What do you love or dislike? What are your goals and dreams? Do you know when to support each other or when it is better to give space?

Get going. Do activities together. Serve the community. Inspire each other. Be creative and resourceful. Don’t let a narrow mind or a quick “no” stop your activities. Change your limiting beliefs. Change your strategy. Be active.

Peace kicks in when group interaction focusses on win-win-activities. Every group member is precious. There is hardly a limit to group activities as long as the win-win attitude stays in focus.

The more people who stick their heads together, the more energy is set free, the more good life, the more peace, is being experienced.

You can laugh, sing, dance, search, cook, eat, celebrate, play, create, achieve, be sad, be spiritual or be on the road together and much more.

Continue your activities.

How to Deepen Peace

Once you’ve figured yourself out, you are part of a group and have experienced peace. Take a step to the side. Reflect what has happened up to now. See the things as they are. Not worse than they are.

Here are some helpful questions:

  1. What happened? What did I/we do? What sticks in your mind? What struck me/us?
  2. What were eye-openers, what made me/us enthusiastic, happy, involved? What was I/were we less happy about? What was a high/low point? What did it remind me/us of?
  3. Why did I/we respond this way to what happened? What ideas about peace were confirmed, what was challenged? What are areas for further exploration?
  4. What am I/are we going to change or add to my/our way to peace? What does it imply for my/our activities?

Be clear to yourself just a few deviations can lead you to a totally different location. Adjust your road map if necessary.

Keep in mind that two people can see the same thing, disagree, and yet both be right. It’s not logical. It’s psychological. – Steven R. Covey

Follow-up. Gain insight. Get moving again. Head on to your goals.

How to Make Peace Your Habit

Be clear on your roles and goals as an individual and as a member of a group. Keep the win-win-attitude in place. Experience rewarding moments of peace both as an individual and group member. Those moments trigger the interest to experience rewarding moments again. Get into the drive.We are what we repeatedly do. – Aristotle

Have a strong motivation and a set of habits that pull you through tough times.

Take an in-depth look at your goals and your road map. Then put to paper why you want to achieve your goals. What is your purpose? For what do you want to be remembered? What drives you? What story are you telling yourself? What is the story your group relies on? Gain a clear picture of your WHY. That is your motivation.

Create your own set of peace habits (for inspiration click here). Do them repeatedly. Let them grow strong. Motivation sets you off and your habits keep you going.Success is a matter of understanding and religiously practicing specific, simple habits that always lead to success. – Roger J. Ringer

Being True to Yourself | Self-Motivation

Being True to Yourself | Self-Motivation

Do you wonder what let’s you rise in the early morning hours? From where you could get the necessary energy to get out of your bed? Are you experienced in postponing your goals?

I surely am.

Here’s my approach for the next 30 days: I will plan my mornings each evening ahead of time. I focus on opportunities. I want to get a head start on them!

The Idea
The goal is to get up and have a great start into the day. Especially, starting each day with a strengthening morning ritual. I want to gather plenty of energy that carries me through my day. I imagine that I gain this positive energy after completing a blog post each morning. Having finished an important task, I’ll be successful during the rest of the day as well.

Low Effort?
I heard Les Brown ask ‘What are you thinking about, when your effort is low?’

I’m surely not thinking of success or opportunity then. During those moments I rather think of postponing, because that is easy to do. With a rational mind I agree to what Jim Rohn said: ‘It’s easy to do it and it’s easy not do it.‘ Furthermore, ‘If we choose the easy way, our life will be hard.’ If we act and get through our fears, we will grow and strive.

Thought Process
In this sense, being true to myself means, getting up in the early mornings, getting used to my strengthening new rituals.

That were my thoughts last night. I still stick to them.

The Reality!
This morning though, my normal morning habits fell into place: I got up one hour later than imagined, took a shower, brewed a cup of coffee, had it with delight and practiced a 18 minutes meditation. I got dressed and here I am sitting and typing.

I understand now, that it takes greater effort to swap existing rituals against new rituals. The next milestone to reach is, enabling the growth of the new ritual into an unbreakable habit.

Outside Motivation
Just 24 days ago, I began meditating with the support of Insight Timer. At first, I used this app only as a reminder during my meditations, hearing the ringing of the sound bowl. Soon the Insight Timer became more stimulating.

Rewarding Success
I like that it rewards my success with a star (for meditating 10 consecutive days). After every meditation it asks me how I feel and logs my experiences. I look at pictures of other people who are meditating ‘with me‘. Some faces are there regularly with me. What I like best about the app, it makes it easy for me, to stick to my meditation. I connected the picture and ringing of the sound bowl to a pleasant feeling.

Something like that would be great for creating new habits. Who has programmed an app like that?

One week later. The blog post isn’t postet yet. Obviously, my approach is not working. There seems to be no breakthrough in sight. So what is it, that does support a breakthrough in our life?

The Tony Robbins Breakthrough Method
Tony focusses on achieving our targets by revealing our human needs. He noticed that most of us stick to our problems, because we meet our needs that way. He differentiates problems into 2 categories: The quality problems, involving risky forward thinking and decision-making that take us to another level in our life and the safe problems, that are lingering issues which lie in our control. The safe problems seem safe because they seemingly protect us from our fear that if we try and fail, we won’t be enough and won’t be loved. Tony points out that safe problems often come into play, when we come up with quality problems, just like adding a new habit into our life. Thus, instead of solving the quality problem, our brain makes us aware of our safe problems and keeps us there. Our brain loves routine and adding a new habit is not routine.

If we are holding on to a low-quality problem, Tony suggests to ask and answer the following questions.

(1) What is the problem costing me and the people around me?
(2) Does it help me give to others or does it steal attention and emotion from my loved ones?

He then strongly suggests to look into the situation of how our life could be like, if the problem disappeared.
(1) What would be next for me?
(2) Who could I serve?
(3) Who would be happier?
(4) Whose life would be changed to see me happy and making progress?

The next step is to decide on one way that we are going to block ourselves from indulging in a low-quality problem this week. We need to think of one way, that we will be saying „NO“ to that problem. Tony emphasis to commit to this sought out change directly.

The Brooke Castillo Do-Goals
Brooke acknowledges that our brain comes up with all possible ways to hinder us changing our habits. When changing our status quo emotions and thoughts will come up. She says, that is just part of the process. We shall not be irritated when fear, doubt, disbelief or shame come to our mind. It will get even worse, when we tell us phrases such as, …

I don’t know.
I’m not sure.
I’m confused.
Maybe this isn’t the right thing for me.
Maybe I should wait a while.
Maybe I should change my mind.

From her experience, „I don’t know“ is the worst of all. This thought blocks everything very efficiently.

Brooke suggests to decide on do-goals, which are achievable goals that get us going intensively. She’s sure, the resulting motivation level will go through the roof. Here’s the plan:

(1) Write down 25 things you really want and already have. Want them from abundance. Brooke explains that we can trick our mind. We just need to continuously tell us, what we really want and have achieved already and then squeeze in one new goal. Fit it in between goals that have been achieved already.
(2) Get specific and come up with all possible details. Write them all down. It is important to get it out of our brain and onto paper. The more specific the better, but we shall not include the how! – Our brains will want to knock us down. Our brains will try hard to keep us within our comfort zone.
(3) Read it every single day.
(4) As soon as the negative emotions and thoughts come up, write them all down too. Get them out of the head and then head to a place in your mind, where the new goal has been completed already.
(5) We shall imagine a state in which we could not fail. When you’re there, write down all what you could do, understanding that failing is not an option. Evaluate, address, pay attention and then go right past your negative thoughts and feelings.
(6) Write your action plan backwards! Remember your state of abundance and think of the necessary steps you need to do. Break the goals down into doable smaller steps. That way, Brooke points out, we give ourselves a lot of wisdom. It is possible to figure every thing out. We just need to try and develop our muscles.
(7) Then commit to your do-goal. The question we need to answer for this is, do we really want to do it? If so, do it 200 times this year. Push it! Be committed!

Both, Tony and Brooke, emphasis that commitment is key. They offer questions to ask and go deeper to the root causes. I suppose digging deep to the root is like digging in my garden. After only little digging, I hit marl-stone and going deeper becomes difficult. There are ways to dig deeper though. Strong muscles are part of that, but so is wit. As I understand Tony and Brooke, it is wit that brings us closer to achieving our goals. The muscles are important, but will be trained along the way. I know that for sure, because no stone has prevented me from planting flowers in my blooming garden.

I will try both methods, Tony’s and Brooke’s, and keep you updated, which works best for me. If it works out well, my blog posts will show up more frequently. Now that would be great!

What about you? Do you have methods that work well for you? What do you suggest? Please leave your ideas or questions below. I’d like to learn from your experiences too. Striving to get better every day!

Self-Confidence | Success Leaves Clues

Self-Confidence | Success Leaves Clues

Are you usually struggling to vacuum your apartment or cleaning the windows? These tasks just slip away from me during normal weeks. Then there are these other weeks, when suddenly cleaning the apartment meticulously becomes easy.

These are the weeks, when I am focussing on changing my behavior. When I am focussing on building stronger self-confidence. When I am dreaming of new goals and starting to see them. When I start to head towards them.

Last night, I scrubbed my patio.

Procrastination is one of the largest hurdles I set in my path towards my goals. These hurdles actually keep my self-confidence from growing too. Thinking about that, I wonder why I set these hurdles up in the first place.

Perfectionism also plays an important role in hindering growing my self-confidence and thus reaching my goals. And again it is me, that keeps on holding myself back, with the thought that one day, I’ll be better. Since better is seldom enough, I get sidetracked.

I got sidetracked. I postponed my blog for several months now. – What am I afraid of?

Les Brown says, fear is the greatest hindering. We are afraid of failing. We are afraid of not being appreciated by our peers, by other people. He also says, that it is not easy to push through. Push yourself through the fear. Imagine your fear being a cloud. You cannot see the other side. You cannot see the sun shine. If you want to reach the other side, just take one step at the time.

Recently I heard Jamie Masters say, if you found the right way, but choose to sit on it, others will run you over. So true.

Both, Les and Jamie, give us clues how to act. Note, they don`t suggest to react to the situation we maneuvered into. They say, have the best strategy, create a roadmap and follow it. Keep adjusting it, as you move on, but move. One step at the time.

Moving prevents procrastination. Moving also prevents perfectionism. Moving prevents fear from growing. It actually can reduce fear. Moving is motion. As Tony Robbins says, motions are necessary to create emotions. I need good emotions to fuel my motor. They get me going on my path. Positive emotions let me get creative when hurdles lay on my way. And then, creativity boosts my self-confidence.

Envisioning my goals, actually seeing them, nearly feeling the state that they create for me,  really boosts my energy and strengthens my self-confidence.

The clue is to know your own goals. To see them reached and to imagine how great it feels, when they are won. Get the right strategy and cling to it. Maneuver and adjust your inner compass. Be relentless. Be creative. Be confident. Strive!