Being True to Yourself | Self-Motivation

Being True to Yourself | Self-Motivation

Do you wonder what let’s you rise in the early morning hours? From where you could get the necessary energy to get out of your bed? Are you experienced in postponing your goals?

I surely am.

Here’s my approach for the next 30 days: I will plan my mornings each evening ahead of time. I focus on opportunities. I want to get a head start on them!

The Idea
The goal is to get up and have a great start into the day. Especially, starting each day with a strengthening morning ritual. I want to gather plenty of energy that carries me through my day. I imagine that I gain this positive energy after completing a blog post each morning. Having finished an important task, I’ll be successful during the rest of the day as well.

Low Effort?
I heard Les Brown ask ‘What are you thinking about, when your effort is low?’

I’m surely not thinking of success or opportunity then. During those moments I rather think of postponing, because that is easy to do. With a rational mind I agree to what Jim Rohn said: ‘It’s easy to do it and it’s easy not do it.‘ Furthermore, ‘If we choose the easy way, our life will be hard.’ If we act and get through our fears, we will grow and strive.

Thought Process
In this sense, being true to myself means, getting up in the early mornings, getting used to my strengthening new rituals.

That were my thoughts last night. I still stick to them.

The Reality!
This morning though, my normal morning habits fell into place: I got up one hour later than imagined, took a shower, brewed a cup of coffee, had it with delight and practiced a 18 minutes meditation. I got dressed and here I am sitting and typing.

I understand now, that it takes greater effort to swap existing rituals against new rituals. The next milestone to reach is, enabling the growth of the new ritual into an unbreakable habit.

Outside Motivation
Just 24 days ago, I began meditating with the support of Insight Timer. At first, I used this app only as a reminder during my meditations, hearing the ringing of the sound bowl. Soon the Insight Timer became more stimulating.

Rewarding Success
I like that it rewards my success with a star (for meditating 10 consecutive days). After every meditation it asks me how I feel and logs my experiences. I look at pictures of other people who are meditating ‘with me‘. Some faces are there regularly with me. What I like best about the app, it makes it easy for me, to stick to my meditation. I connected the picture and ringing of the sound bowl to a pleasant feeling.

Something like that would be great for creating new habits. Who has programmed an app like that?

One week later. The blog post isn’t postet yet. Obviously, my approach is not working. There seems to be no breakthrough in sight. So what is it, that does support a breakthrough in our life?

The Tony Robbins Breakthrough Method
Tony focusses on achieving our targets by revealing our human needs. He noticed that most of us stick to our problems, because we meet our needs that way. He differentiates problems into 2 categories: The quality problems, involving risky forward thinking and decision-making that take us to another level in our life and the safe problems, that are lingering issues which lie in our control. The safe problems seem safe because they seemingly protect us from our fear that if we try and fail, we won’t be enough and won’t be loved. Tony points out that safe problems often come into play, when we come up with quality problems, just like adding a new habit into our life. Thus, instead of solving the quality problem, our brain makes us aware of our safe problems and keeps us there. Our brain loves routine and adding a new habit is not routine.

If we are holding on to a low-quality problem, Tony suggests to ask and answer the following questions.

(1) What is the problem costing me and the people around me?
(2) Does it help me give to others or does it steal attention and emotion from my loved ones?

He then strongly suggests to look into the situation of how our life could be like, if the problem disappeared.
(1) What would be next for me?
(2) Who could I serve?
(3) Who would be happier?
(4) Whose life would be changed to see me happy and making progress?

The next step is to decide on one way that we are going to block ourselves from indulging in a low-quality problem this week. We need to think of one way, that we will be saying „NO“ to that problem. Tony emphasis to commit to this sought out change directly.

The Brooke Castillo Do-Goals
Brooke acknowledges that our brain comes up with all possible ways to hinder us changing our habits. When changing our status quo emotions and thoughts will come up. She says, that is just part of the process. We shall not be irritated when fear, doubt, disbelief or shame come to our mind. It will get even worse, when we tell us phrases such as, …

I don’t know.
I’m not sure.
I’m confused.
Maybe this isn’t the right thing for me.
Maybe I should wait a while.
Maybe I should change my mind.

From her experience, „I don’t know“ is the worst of all. This thought blocks everything very efficiently.

Brooke suggests to decide on do-goals, which are achievable goals that get us going intensively. She’s sure, the resulting motivation level will go through the roof. Here’s the plan:

(1) Write down 25 things you really want and already have. Want them from abundance. Brooke explains that we can trick our mind. We just need to continuously tell us, what we really want and have achieved already and then squeeze in one new goal. Fit it in between goals that have been achieved already.
(2) Get specific and come up with all possible details. Write them all down. It is important to get it out of our brain and onto paper. The more specific the better, but we shall not include the how! – Our brains will want to knock us down. Our brains will try hard to keep us within our comfort zone.
(3) Read it every single day.
(4) As soon as the negative emotions and thoughts come up, write them all down too. Get them out of the head and then head to a place in your mind, where the new goal has been completed already.
(5) We shall imagine a state in which we could not fail. When you’re there, write down all what you could do, understanding that failing is not an option. Evaluate, address, pay attention and then go right past your negative thoughts and feelings.
(6) Write your action plan backwards! Remember your state of abundance and think of the necessary steps you need to do. Break the goals down into doable smaller steps. That way, Brooke points out, we give ourselves a lot of wisdom. It is possible to figure every thing out. We just need to try and develop our muscles.
(7) Then commit to your do-goal. The question we need to answer for this is, do we really want to do it? If so, do it 200 times this year. Push it! Be committed!

Both, Tony and Brooke, emphasis that commitment is key. They offer questions to ask and go deeper to the root causes. I suppose digging deep to the root is like digging in my garden. After only little digging, I hit marl-stone and going deeper becomes difficult. There are ways to dig deeper though. Strong muscles are part of that, but so is wit. As I understand Tony and Brooke, it is wit that brings us closer to achieving our goals. The muscles are important, but will be trained along the way. I know that for sure, because no stone has prevented me from planting flowers in my blooming garden.

I will try both methods, Tony’s and Brooke’s, and keep you updated, which works best for me. If it works out well, my blog posts will show up more frequently. Now that would be great!

What about you? Do you have methods that work well for you? What do you suggest? Please leave your ideas or questions below. I’d like to learn from your experiences too. Striving to get better every day!

Psst, here’s your sign!

Psst, here’s your sign!

Often I wonder how to recognize the signs that send me into the right direction. Yesterday I heard somebody say, “Psst, here’s your sign. Move to the left. Just a few steps. Look down. There it is.” Nothing big. Just a nice little sign, keeping me on track.

Many people walk through life with their eyes wide open, staring into the sky and waiting for the big signs to turn up. Seemingly, no sign comes. They lose hope and fright crawls in.   It is easy to feel alone. It easy to give up. It is easy to stop searching.

What happens when you stop searching?

Self-respect goes down. Happiness diminishes. Emotions tend to weigh heavy pulling us down. I’ve been there too. Living life seems reduced to a rat race. Breathing is shallow. Sighing becomes normal. Shoulders sink in. Talk reflects negative acceptance of day-to-day life.

Some times life seems to be like a slippery slope. One day your up and striving and next you trip and slip down the slope.

What can we do to prevent slipping down?

Look at the children! How do children play? How do they move? What language do they use? Where do they get their language from? Who are their role models? What are they looking at? How are their senses seeing, hearing, touching, tasting and smelling involved? How are they moving around? Which emotions are moving them? What facial expressions can you see? How are they breathing? How does their breathing alter? How long are they sad? How do they switch from happiness to sadness and back again?

What to do with this knowledge?

I try to use it. I try to get better every day. Whenever I slip now, I try hard to get back up quick. I brush my pants off, just as if I had fell into dust, and change my state. I think of something fun to do or focus on my current goal. Changing my state seems to be more difficult now than when I was a child. I don’t know why that is. Perhaps I’m thinking too much. As a child I was more into doing.

Recently I began jumping around again (literally), seemingly out of nothing. Jumping like a child helps me change my state directly. After having jumped I always have to laugh or at least smile intensely. I even jump in front of my colleagues. That seems so unconventional crazy that it is a lot of fun.

Ao just push the pain away?

Don’t go through life avoiding pain. As Les Brown put’s it, all of us have storms inside of us. These storms don’t necessarily show, but they occur every once in a while. We all have problems and with them comes fear. Fear often leads to inner confusion. Unfortunately, that confusion holds us back. In those moments, just tell yourself to shut up. Make a conscious decision. Stick to your decision. Create your own disciplines that match your decision. A few disciplines practiced every day, lead to success.

So what about the signs?

It is easy to search and it is easy not to search for life improvements. It is easy to get overwhelmed and it is easy to make decisions. We always make decisions. We always pass by signs. If we lose our focus, we surely do not recognize our signs. Staying in focus, staying with an open and thankful mind helps us, to use all of our senses. Our senses support our emotions and when we are feeling right, we can see the signs. Your sign might just be the affirmation you have been waiting for. Your sign can be an interaction with another person, a thing, a ray of light, a breeze, a sound, a smell, a taste, a word, a feeling. Be open and trust yourself. Search and you will find.

 

 

Refuel and Transform Tiredness into Greatness | Practice Communication Habits

Refuel and Transform Tiredness into Greatness | Practice Communication Habits

Do you feel tired and exhausted? You worked long hours every day of the week. Are you longing for a relaxing weekend or time off on your couch? But there’s this meeting with your friends this evening. You feel your just not up to it. You push yourself to meet them. And then, as out of nothing, your meeting is great! Your motivated and happy! It is plain fun!

Your mind shifted. Your approach shifted. You let go off your negative thoughts and forgot about your tiredness.

The atmosphere was just right. There was a positive group climate which enabled positive group dynamics. You smiled at each other and laughed. Your energy level refueled. You feel great! Your tiredness transformed into greatness!

 

Are you curious how to refuel and transform tiredness into greatness?

Here are some ideas: Go out and meet your friends!

 

Take on Leadership – Ask and Listen

You provide structure, establish limits and maintain a group order. You ensure that everyone is being heard. You encourage creativity. You give space to ask all sorts of questions and provide answers. You empower your friends to ask and answer open questions. Ask follow-up questions. Usually you’re not the only one who misunderstood a statement or question. Ask and listen.

 

Interact and Empower 

Be supportive and valuing. Encourage interaction. A good way to do this is to glance around the group, smile at your friends and encourage them to join the talking by looking at them openly. Signalize them that you are curious to hear their opinion.

 

Understand the Signals

Look for signals and use non-verbal communication. Are your friends leaning into the group or are they stepping back. Which direction are they looking at? Are they focussing on the group or their mobile phone? Are they staring at the door or focussing on each other?

 

Be Interesting

Bring up interesting subjects and shut out subjects that lead nowhere. redirect if necessary. Trust your group that positive group climate will enfold. Be part of this positive group climate. Smile! Enjoy the time with your friends. Enjoy the answers that you all receive. Take them as a present and be thankful.

 

Take it to the Next Level

Refueling with your friends is great and mostly easy. Meeting with strangers might be a challenge at the beginning. But if you stick to the habits above, if you focus on asking and listening, if you take on leadership, interact and empower, understand the inter-communication patterns and signals and if you keep on smiling and stay continuously interesting. Then, you will become an expert on transforming not only your tiredness to greatness, but also of the people you are with. A trait that feels tremendously great.