We Are What We Think | Self-Knowledge

We Are What We Think | Self-Knowledge

“We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.” – Buddha

Self-fulfillment is powerful. Buddha realized that and lived accordingly. We can do that too. We can think better of our lives. We can adjust our inner attitude. We can talk better to ourselves, lifting us up and we can walk our talk.

I notice that this saying of Buddha is true.

Are you searching for ways to improve your personal situation? Are you curious how to change your mind? Do you have the impression to fall back to bad habits every once in a while?

I can relate to that. I want to have trusting relationships and a large family, strong friendships with great friends, a reliable and amazing income stream, work that fulfills me and plenty of time.

Brooke Castillo came up with a model explaining how we achieve our results. How ever our results look like.

Our THOUGHTS create our FEELINGS which drive our ACTIONS which create our RESULTS. – Brooke Castillo

Brooke suggests that our mind either preps us or pulls us down. If we can get a hold of what our mind is thinking, we can understand our life circumstances better.

With a better understanding of ourselves and with clearness on our values and personal aspirations or goals, we can align our thoughts. We can change our mind.

Understand your self. Get a hold of your WHY. – Change your thoughts first, then change your actions.

There are some days though, when my thoughts pull me down to the ground. I feel sad, depressed and absolutely unsuccessful. During these times, I seem to be very far away from achieving my goals. My thoughts circle around in my head.

My mind imagines, that I am falling onto a chute. There is no escape then! My thoughts push me down. My thoughts and I are sliding down a huge downward spiral. As my thoughts pick up speed, I do too. Together we are racing to the bottom. Yet, I cannot see the end.

In those moments calm breathing slows me down. I breathe in and out. I notice how the air tickles the small hair on the top of my lip. Concentrating on breathing helps me slowing my thoughts, relaxing my mind, creating a new picture. The downward spiral is gone. Puff.

Quickly I feel better. I imagine myself in better times. I am successful in my job. I sit with people I like. We are laughing. In my imagination we have happy faces. Our eyes sparkle serenity. I feel good. I think better thoughts.

It is normal to have negative, disturbing thoughts. They will come our way every once in a while. It is at us to give these thoughts some space and behave mindful. Just try not to hop on the downward spiral and shoot down the chute.

Instead you could hack your own mind. Pull a trick on it. I do it this way: Pull up your eyebrows and try to be angry. It just doesn’t work. Then laugh or at least grin for 90 seconds. Laughing, even though you actually don’t feel like it, sends signals to your brain. The brain thinks that you are happy and acts accordingly. The hard drive is cleared again.

Thoughts are strong. They can either prevent our doings and set us up with procrastination or they get and keep us going pursuing our personal goals and dreams.

Are you experienced in tracking your thoughts and changing your mind successfully? How do you do it? How do you hack your brain?

Are You Searching …

Are You Searching …

The more we know, the better our understanding of the world. – Steven R. Covey

How to get peace

From my point of view there are many different possibilities to achieve and receive peace. I suggest to focus on two important and interdependent roles. First, your own role as an individual and second, as a member of a group.

Decide that you want peace. Then start planning.

As an Individual

Rumi writes, the inspiration is already within us. Be silent and listen. Gain clarity of your own role. What are your perceptions, your concepts or thought patterns, your theories of conflict, peace and life. What are your standards? How do you solve difficulties and conflicts? What are your roles? What are your goals?

Figure out your own purpose – what is your why? What is your life’s mission? Be clear about your roles. Be honest to yourself. Then create your own road map. How do you want to go about? What places do you want to see? Who do you want to meet? Specify the steps you need to take. Yes, be specific.

Tony Robbins stresses, that the only way to get better is to raise your standards. What are your standards? Which one’s can you raise, keeping in mind that you want to receive peace? Think of win-win-situations where you and the people with whom you interact improve to gain peace.

Create your own understandable, precise road map.

Start moving. Keep on moving. Importantly, follow your plan.

As a Member of a Group

You found like-minded people? You are part of a group? Do you know each other? Don’t wait for years to pass to answer the following questions. Figure them out soon and use the knowledge.

What are your views on the world? What are your pet peeves? What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses? What do you love or dislike? What are your goals and dreams? Do you know when to support each other or when it is better to give space?

Get going. Do activities together. Serve the community. Inspire each other. Be creative and resourceful. Don’t let a narrow mind or a quick “no” stop your activities. Change your limiting beliefs. Change your strategy. Be active.

Peace kicks in when group interaction focusses on win-win-activities. Every group member is precious. There is hardly a limit to group activities as long as the win-win attitude stays in focus.

The more people who stick their heads together, the more energy is set free, the more good life, the more peace, is being experienced.

You can laugh, sing, dance, search, cook, eat, celebrate, play, create, achieve, be sad, be spiritual or be on the road together and much more.

Continue your activities.

How to Deepen Peace

Once you’ve figured yourself out, you are part of a group and have experienced peace. Take a step to the side. Reflect what has happened up to now. See the things as they are. Not worse than they are.

Here are some helpful questions:

  1. What happened? What did I/we do? What sticks in your mind? What struck me/us?
  2. What were eye-openers, what made me/us enthusiastic, happy, involved? What was I/were we less happy about? What was a high/low point? What did it remind me/us of?
  3. Why did I/we respond this way to what happened? What ideas about peace were confirmed, what was challenged? What are areas for further exploration?
  4. What am I/are we going to change or add to my/our way to peace? What does it imply for my/our activities?

Be clear to yourself just a few deviations can lead you to a totally different location. Adjust your road map if necessary.

Keep in mind that two people can see the same thing, disagree, and yet both be right. It’s not logical. It’s psychological. – Steven R. Covey

Follow-up. Gain insight. Get moving again. Head on to your goals.

How to Make Peace Your Habit

Be clear on your roles and goals as an individual and as a member of a group. Keep the win-win-attitude in place. Experience rewarding moments of peace both as an individual and group member. Those moments trigger the interest to experience rewarding moments again. Get into the drive.We are what we repeatedly do. – Aristotle

Have a strong motivation and a set of habits that pull you through tough times.

Take an in-depth look at your goals and your road map. Then put to paper why you want to achieve your goals. What is your purpose? For what do you want to be remembered? What drives you? What story are you telling yourself? What is the story your group relies on? Gain a clear picture of your WHY. That is your motivation.

Create your own set of peace habits (for inspiration click here). Do them repeatedly. Let them grow strong. Motivation sets you off and your habits keep you going.Success is a matter of understanding and religiously practicing specific, simple habits that always lead to success. – Roger J. Ringer

Kick off Group Dynamics | Strengthening Groups

Kick off Group Dynamics | Strengthening Groups

You have a bunch of youth gathering together to form a new group? You’re looking for ideas how to motivate them? Perhaps this idea for one of the first meetings inspires you and your group.

A Thrill of Anticipation
Have them sit together in a circle and invite them to do something special. Create a thrill of anticipation. Dim the light or use the nightfall. Light some candles creating a middle of your circle. Hand out some sparklers, one to each member of your group. Let them wonder what might happen next.

Tempt Them With Enthusiasm
Calm your group down and give them a speech of inspiration. A speech that they will not forget. Motivate them with every word you say. Tempt them with your enthusiasm to discover themselves as a group and as individuals.

Speak about dreaming, seeing and doing! Address your group directly.

A New Stage of Life
Together we set out into a new stage of your life. Have mutual trust in each other. Become team players. Focus on your strengths within your group. Put your group first. Understand that life is about we. Soon you will enjoy new levels of perhaps unseen strengths within your group. Your group will become your circle of friends. Together you can come up with ideas you might never tackle alone. Strengthening each other, your ideas will easily grow. Together you can take massive action and achieve what you set out for.

Be Hopeful
Imagine freedom for all of humanity. Have a mission. Speak up when you notice injustice. Believe in freedom, trust and solidarity. If applicable, resist injustice. Practice civil courage. Be honest, be wise and act the way you talk. Stand together in hope.

Be Peaceful
Be open to the people around you. Grow your network of friends. Be empathetic. Be there. Search and discover truth. Get to the bottom of things and opinions. Develop your own point of view. Develop a stance with your group. Find peaceful ways to get to sound agreements. Be reliable.

Be Truthful
Discover and feel your new community. Need each other. Be considerate. Be vigilant.

Agree upon rules for your group and stick to them. Make them real. And THEN, dream big. Don’t hold yourself back with ifs and how tos. Dream of activities, places to travel to and people to meet. See yourself doing it. Describe what you see. Be different by choice. Go backwards. Take your achievement and think of necessary steps that led you there. Create a game plan. Stick your heads together. Be bold and do it.

The promise is there: Your success will come!

Next, invite two members of your group to lighten their sparklers. Ask them to pass on the fire, by connecting there sparkler with the direct neighbor. Let the sparkle/the fire be passed on throughout the group. When all are lit, repeat the promise: Our success will come!

Refuel and Transform Tiredness into Greatness | Practice Communication Habits

Refuel and Transform Tiredness into Greatness | Practice Communication Habits

Do you feel tired and exhausted? You worked long hours every day of the week. Are you longing for a relaxing weekend or time off on your couch? But there’s this meeting with your friends this evening. You feel your just not up to it. You push yourself to meet them. And then, as out of nothing, your meeting is great! Your motivated and happy! It is plain fun!

Your mind shifted. Your approach shifted. You let go off your negative thoughts and forgot about your tiredness.

The atmosphere was just right. There was a positive group climate which enabled positive group dynamics. You smiled at each other and laughed. Your energy level refueled. You feel great! Your tiredness transformed into greatness!

 

Are you curious how to refuel and transform tiredness into greatness?

Here are some ideas: Go out and meet your friends!

 

Take on Leadership – Ask and Listen

You provide structure, establish limits and maintain a group order. You ensure that everyone is being heard. You encourage creativity. You give space to ask all sorts of questions and provide answers. You empower your friends to ask and answer open questions. Ask follow-up questions. Usually you’re not the only one who misunderstood a statement or question. Ask and listen.

 

Interact and Empower 

Be supportive and valuing. Encourage interaction. A good way to do this is to glance around the group, smile at your friends and encourage them to join the talking by looking at them openly. Signalize them that you are curious to hear their opinion.

 

Understand the Signals

Look for signals and use non-verbal communication. Are your friends leaning into the group or are they stepping back. Which direction are they looking at? Are they focussing on the group or their mobile phone? Are they staring at the door or focussing on each other?

 

Be Interesting

Bring up interesting subjects and shut out subjects that lead nowhere. redirect if necessary. Trust your group that positive group climate will enfold. Be part of this positive group climate. Smile! Enjoy the time with your friends. Enjoy the answers that you all receive. Take them as a present and be thankful.

 

Take it to the Next Level

Refueling with your friends is great and mostly easy. Meeting with strangers might be a challenge at the beginning. But if you stick to the habits above, if you focus on asking and listening, if you take on leadership, interact and empower, understand the inter-communication patterns and signals and if you keep on smiling and stay continuously interesting. Then, you will become an expert on transforming not only your tiredness to greatness, but also of the people you are with. A trait that feels tremendously great.

 

 

First Steps Are Filled With Curiosity

First Steps Are Filled With Curiosity

Imagine this situation: You travel to a place that is new to you. You meet people whom you haven’t met before. You participate in a meeting with people from different nationalities and origins. Every thing there is new to you. The meeting is taking place in a city in which you haven’t been to before. Your first steps in the venue are filled with curiosity.

You register and receive your name tag. While you are relaxing from your journey other participants arrive. It’s a crowd of people. Some smile, some don’t. But as soon as they’ve registered their anxiety drops. You catch their first smile. You exchange a short hello. Then the group scatters preparing for the beginning of the meeting.

Does that sound familiar to you?

Now it is up to you to decide how your meeting shall run. Are you open to get to know new people, make some new friends?

I have been to several meetings during the past thirty years. Most where recreational others where work related. The meetings with the best encounters where those, where the participants were open-minded, curious, smiling and laughing!